There is a theme to how I write here: I ask you to notice and consider your thoughts and actions relative to your feelings.
I will take a slightly different tack now, just for this post.
Are you aware of your potency? Perhaps yes, of course, in the positive.
Yet you have huge potency in the negative too, not only in how you turn on yourself, which you may be very familiar with, but also in the energy field you project into situations.
A superpower lies in your projections.
Do you understand the effect you can have on your projections in the personal? Are you aware of the power of intention? Are you aware of what you’re putting out there? What you are projecting?
You will consciously or unconsciously be taking in projections from others. We all do it in some way, to the positive or to the negative. Perhaps you are feeling that someone is in need of a hug, or your largesse, generally financially. They have not asked or demanded, but you are picking up on their projection onto you, and perhaps it is how they move through the world, playing the person in need of care, financial help.
The type of projection I am elucidating here is your projection out into a person or a situation and not in the above descriptor, this is a very different type of projection.
If you approach a person, place or situation with a negative projection, perhaps saying to yourself ‘they don’t like me’, or ‘they will be unpleasant’, you give them huge power and lose yours. Maybe you decide they will be aggressive or you will pre-think personal awkwardness on your part. This is your energy field going into the situation.
Do I sound woo-woo or a bit spiritual? I assure, that is not my intent, but again, you may have just projected that into how you read on. I may have inadvertently “caught you out” but not from any ill-will, just making a valid point.
I’m going to ask you to play a game with me.
Sit back. Be comfortable, obviously still able to read on, but reflect on this:
See yourself. See yourself moving towards the door of a house or an office situation that is contentious for you, tricky and difficult. See it in your mind’s eye.
Take is slowly. In your memory…perhaps you walk to the door of your boss’s office, your parent’s house, someone who has upset you… walking toward an ex-partner.
Find yourself in a situation where you’re walking up to the door. See yourself walking to that door and stopping. On the path. On the stairs. In the corridor… wherever it is that leads to where you’re going.
Take a moment. Feel your feet on that ground. It might be a stony path, a concrete stairwell, carpet, a garden path…
Visualize yourself putting your hand towards the door handle, or the knocker, or the bell. See and feel that movement forward, that reaching, and stop before your hand touches the bell or handle.
Now just notice that you are projecting…
Are you about to enter a situation where you have pre-decided the outcome or the feelings in that room?
Think of your projection like a carpet that you roll out in front of you, a runner, like you may have in your hall.
If you have walked towards that door filled with apprehension, rancor, bitterness, bitchiness, that is how you are feeling within yourself. This will affect the outcome 100%. Look down at your unrolled carpet, in front of you. Is it black, sticky, grubby, covered in bits of old stuff, furballs, bits of old bramble? Be honest with yourself. How is your carpet of projections?
Now, just take your hand back. Allow yourself to say, even out loud, ‘OK, hang on a minute…’
Could you choose remake this carpet of projections? Could you make a decision to take personal agency and clean it, tidy it up, add some flowers, even go so far as to make it a really beautiful carpet? Maybe add a border, some tassels, I have no idea how this carpet could look, for you, if it was an open-minded and present projection, rather than one designed by the pain of the past and the fear of the future.
Stand there, in your mind’s eye and see, now, the difference in the energy you are putting out as you reach for and touch the door.
You can choose to bring yourself to this experience, without the pain of the past and the fear of the future.
This moment is in the present, in the Now, where you decide that what you want to project is a very glorious moment.
It’s an interesting exercise. Eventually it becomes second nature, but initially it is about choosing to set your projection.
Made a little mistake here, I was thinking too much about projecting into the other forgetting what I might want to ‘project’ on meeting the other - works two ways…
I had to read this twice bit of resistance initially, we do project things but I thought of this activity as more limited, wondering if this signals more work needs to be done @ the core of the personality, if you projected fear for example & the person is not your therapist - I suppose you could at least practice a more neutral mindset before you ring the bell, helpful - maybe understanding the root cause is part fantasy or if therapy is too expensive breaking the spell by forcing yourself to join more classes, skills & so on - sort of beginning to light a fire inside, of courage & encouragement